Some catching up to do

Because Noo never crawled, she never figured out how to sit up or stand on her own. She always needed help.

I always got comments on how strange it was, and though I worried about it occasionally, watching how kids younger than Noo, easily rolled over and sat up or just stood up effortlessly - I tried not to let it get to me. I made up my mind that I would not force her to learn these things - that it would come to her naturally, when she was ready for it physically.

And it’s happened, finally last week, she figured that she can go from supine to sitting up on her own, with a little effort and from a sitting position to standing. The first time it happened was the day before.

Noo started to whine in her crib, in the middle of the night (she’s teething), so I grabbed her, kissed and cuddled and brought her into our bed when she didn’t fall back asleep. Within a few minutes, I was woken up with little fingers inside my shirt, on my tummy and Noo’s squeaky voice going, ‘ticka, ticka‘. I opened my eyes to find her sitting up, tickling me. At 2.45 AM.

I was so tickled (ha ha) , I woke Z and we were both so excited to find her sitting up that we (read I, Z went back to sleep in 5-10 minutes) stayed up another hour horsing around in bed with her.

So anyways, this just reinforces the point, that if any of you are worried about a certain milestone your child hasn’t reached in a certain timeframe, as long as s/he is happy and healthy otherwise, it’s all going to be okay. And I’ve also read somewhere that babies focus on one area of development and hold back on the other. I don’t know how far this is true - that kids who speak soon walk later and vice versa.

Speaking of talking, Noo’s learned lots of new words - pish for fish, anna for egg (anda), shampoo and brush and others that I can’t remember right now. She can now identify stuff - what’s hers (Hana ka), or mine (mama ka) and Z’s. She’s got a fabulous memory and knows where I last hid her toys/ books/ stuff.

She’s up to all sorts of diva tricks too - if anything just about touches her, she tells everyone maagaya (maar lag gaya) or I got hurt, answering the phone with a hanno or saying wow at something she’s accomplished by herself. She always says yaaay and claps for herself. Her latest favorite game is to walk out of the room, saying, pakko (pakdo) or come, get me. The cutest is when she’s ready to go to bed and she needs Emmo (Elmo) and Mine (her blanket) and calls to them if she can’t see them - and when she sees them, she starts cooing to and hugging both. Or when she’s done with something, she will say go. Or when she reads her Kisses book, she starts each page with I kissa for I kiss you because….I write all this stuff down because I know I’ll forget, and I don’t want to.

I watch videos of her when she was 5-6 months old and I see a certain expression that I used to think was absolutely adorable and that I’d never forget it, but I did. And then there was the way she’d raise one eyebrow and curl her finger - forgot that too. Her baby babbling - forgotten.

Everyday, she just gets more and more fun and exciting and I wish I could hold on to every moment. I’m doing the best I can with this blog, pictures and videos, achievements hastily scribbled in my journal or in an email or Google documents.

My MIL and SIL have been watching her for the last few days and she’s adjusted really well, my little trooper. She gets really clingy once I’m home, but you’ll never find me complaining about that.

Not in this lifetime.

Step by step

When Noo started to stand independently, around the time she was seven or eight months old (and I thought I’d never forget anything - that I’d remember everything, forever!), I was psyched. I guess we all thought she’d be an early walker (like me) - she was cruising and taking a few independent steps by 10 months but there was still no independent walking when she hit the 12-month mark.

I wasn’t worried, because I knew she was ready to and could walk - her fear concerned me. I knew it was just a matter of time before she would get over it but it still bothered me. And yesterday, June the Seventeenth, was The Big Day - at 14 months and 1 week and 1 day old - she walked!

For weeks now we’ve been encouraging her by making her walk from one person in one corner of the room to a person in another corner of the room. And she was skilled enough to be able to stop when she wanted, mid-way, and start up again, but nothing would make her want to let go and walk on her own, or from inanimate object to inanimate object. She was too frightened.

All evening yesterday, Z and I, and the ILs played with Noo, watched her walk from person to person and then all of a sudden, we realized she was taking surer steps and detours towards mirrors (to kiss herself, ofcourse) and electrical outlets and ta-da, that was it. Z walked ahead of her and instructed her to follow him to the living room and she did. She’s even walked to the bathroom door on her own and knocked.

We ended the day with a few games of tag, and it was so cute to watch her toddle after Z, wherever he went. The three of us pretty much collapsed within an hour of that.

What they say is so true, once they start, they won’t stop! My baby girl’s taken off and I couldn’t be more proud (or terrified)!

Walk on, baby girl.

On being infallible

At this point, both Z and I are infallible in Noo’s eyes. We are, after all, The Parents.

At some point in the future, she will realize that we’re not as flawless, not really. We’re just as human as her.

My heart aches when I think of that moment that we will fall in her eyes - the disillusionment will not be easy to deal with - not for her and not for us.

In a way, this fear is good because it really is pushing me to be the best I can in every role - daughter, wife, mother, and friend.

And in the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy being so ‘perfect’.

One for Abba

I remember all those times when I whined that Noo loved her daddy best of the two of us…and Z would sweetly and gently remind me that nothing could ever change the fact that I’m her mother and she would always love me.

Now that I’m the current favorite, with more mama’s uttered than abba’s, I show no such maturity. I’m always shamelessly throwing in Z’s face, how awesome I am and how Noo loves me more.

And just as often, I’m reminded that they share a bond cemented by the fact that he was the first person she saw and he laid eyes on her before anyone else did.  

The truth is that I can still see the stars in her eyes when she looks at Z and I desperately hope that lasts…that she’ll always remain daddy’s little girl. (From one’s daddy’s girl, to another!)

Happy Father’s Day, honey!

What do you call it…

…when the nooster’s favorite activity becomes walking up to the mirror, looking at her reflection with admiration and bestowing open-mouthed kisses on said reflection?

A rather healthy dose of self-esteem? Or just plain (not to mention, cute!) vanity?

The Hair Song

I’ve been meaning to post about this for while and wanted to do it before I forget. Noo loves hair. Only long hair, and that too on grown women.

The sight of hair will make her go, aaaaaa-aaaa-aaa, in this particular shrilly, high-pitched and uber-excited tune. She touches it and strokes the hair, all while singing.

Hair on children, she mostly tries to rip off :/ I think it’s jealousy. You know that funny, ‘God, if you can’t make me thin, make all my friends fat’? Something like that, with hair. If I can’t have any, no babies around me should either!

Still on hair, this weekend I gave in and we shaved her hair off with Z’s trimmer. I was being pressurized from all sides, and though I do not believe that her hair will come in thicker having done so, it was killing me because what if shaving over and over again did produce thicker hair? What if Noo blamed me for her scanty hair (genetic, by the way!)? She’s going to hate me / my guts/ my decisions on a lot of things so I figure if I could get out of one, heyyy, why not?

BUT! I miss my baby’s soft, silky hair. Atleast there was something to comb, and put little clips in. Now there’s nothing. I still put on headbands, because I want to! And have been asked, very meanly by a complete stranger, why the baby had on a hairband if she had no hair?!

Other antics this week include saying ’tebby der’ (teddy bear), ‘okay’ and looking for the no-longer-there hair. 

One week to 14 months

Some of the stuff Noo’s been upto:

My BIL was walking her around the house, while Z was taking a shower. Noo walked right upto the door, put both hands on it, cocked her ear against the door and went, ‘Honey?’ in the exact same way that I do.

She and I usually the first to wake and we sit in the living room with her toys scattered around us, breakfasting and playing until everyone else wakes too. She was in her toy box going kaka, kaka, which is what she calls the BIL and I told her that kaka was asleep. This went on for a few minutes until she dug underself pulled out a chocolate and went kokit. Ah!

She walks up to anyone drinking tea and goes, chai?

When she’s ready for bed and I take extra long hugging and kissing and cuddling, she looks up at me most exasperatedly and goes, mama, bye.

And that word, mama, which I meant to write about. She started with refering to me as amma - I was just glad to have a place in vocabulary, even though she rarely called me that. Within a week or two, she’d made the transition and started going, mama, mama and adressing me. I don’t think I could ever get over how that beautiful that word is or what it makes me feel! Like, the purpose of my life, my existence is somehow wrapped up in that one word. We spend many fun minutes doing this:

Noo: Mama

Me: Ji beta

Noo: Mama

Me: Ji beta

and so on and so forth and it’s such a fun game. And there’s nothing more heartwarming than to hear her every morning, mama, aayee (mama, come get me!).

She still isn’t walking, but standing more confidently and taking more and more tentative steps forward. We’ve been visiting with a few kids (Hi Ayzah and Mahnoor and Saoud!) and Noo’s getting confident around them. Aggressive too, which is a double-edged sword because I want her to learn to stand up for herself, but what if she turns into a rowdy little brat? It occured to me then, that you don’t make a rowdy child, or control one, you just learn to deal. God, I really hope I don’t have to deal with one, because I’m really quite clueless.

Also, the end to working-mother-phase is in sight and I’m quite a happy noo-mama, right now.

Snippets

Currently, in the world of Noo, a lot of conversations are along these lines:

Mama: Noo, where’s nana?

Noo: in the bathroom (said as baapboom mein)

Mama: And, where’s nani?

Noo: in the bathroom

and so on and so forth, until the assortment of people and things that she knows are all in the bathroom, including mama, who’s sitting right infront of her - and we’re both giggling away!

And speaking of bathrooms, Noo demands to be taken in so she can hath do (wash her hands). We’ve developed a nice little routine, wash both hands, wipe - like 20 times. I have yet to tire of this!

Q, I’ve been brushing Noo’s teeth for a while now, when can I start using those cute baby toothpastes?

Picking a ped ‘08-09

In the last 13 months of Noo’s life, we’ve seen three different peds.

Dr K - he was present at Noo’s birth, evaluated her right after and we still see him for the big things. He’s got loads of experience and is very well-known. He’s got a no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point kind of bedside manner. He never remembers us, always needs us to give him a brief history and tell him why we’re there - even though it says vaccination on the card infront of him! He never asks where she is developmentally, what she eats and almost never makes any suggestions. His logic’s probably, well, the baby’s still alive, so these dolts must know what they’re doing. He’s affiliated with a hospital so everything is within an arm’s reach when we’re there.

Dr A - she’s the ped at the outpatient setup closest to my apartment. She’s in her early thirties and is not yet disillusioned by her profession. No God complex, she genuinely cares about the little ones she sees. She remembers me, Noo, how old she and what was the problem the last time we saw her. After each appointment, she takes 5-10 minutes for general chit-chat. When I worried that Noo was underweight, Dr A dismissed my fears by convincing me that as long as she’s active, and happy and meeting her milestones, I’ve nothing to worry about. She’s never once commented on the fact that Noo’s antisocial (says it’s the age!), or doesn’t walk or anything of these things and seeks to dispel these worries when I bring them up. D-uh, I love Dr A. We’re working on getting Noo to feel the same about her. The only downside is that this is an outpatient set up and not all facilities are available - just basic lab.

Dr M - this was the doctor that saw Noo while she was in the hospital. As soon as he saw how anti-social Noo was, yelling nahin, nahin as he approached, he commented on how unusual she was and how children were usually friendly at this stage, making me feel like a failure. He then checked her weight, proclaimed her way-underweight and said she isn’t healthy, beceause she isn’t at 10 ks yet. Asked me whether she walks, and I said, not independently, even though I know she can - he said, she should have been walking within a year, and this isn’t good at all - making me feel like a, you guessed it, failure again! He then asked me when shed started to sit without support and when I said 5 and a half months, he rubbished my claims - said no babies sit without support before 6-7 months old. Wouldn’t believe me when I said she was standing at 8 months. One schedule for all children. Both Z and I felt very strongly about Dr M. One word, never.

No prizes for guessing who we’ve chosen to continue to see (not too often, hopefully!) this coming year. Mostly, it’s going to be a combination of Dr K and Dr A - Dr K for vaccines and what not and Dr A for everything else.

How do you pick your ped? Do you stick to one or see a combo like me?

A little unplanned get-away…at the hospital

After a month of being sick on and off, Noo finally got better on Friday. We went to the mall here and had a blast. Noo was super-excited with all the sounds, smells and sights! As we were heading home, she curled into me and fell asleep. What a perfect Friday, I thought to myself.

When we got home, and I tried to lower her into her crib, she woke - crying. And would not stop. She would fall asleep in my arms and any attempts to put her down would wake her and she’d cry. What scared me was that she’s never done this. If I put her down and she wakes, she usually pulls me down next to her and falls asleep. Not this time, she was crying, not in a whiny manner, but as if she was in pain. With big, fat tears and wails. Both Z and I spent that night comforting her as she went from one set of the arms to the other.

When she woke Saturday morning, she was pale, and quiet and listless. Not her usual bundle-of-energy self. Both Z and I freaked out because she wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink milk, didn’t want to play - she just wanted to lie in my arms and observe the world. We took her to a outpatient set up close to our apartment, and the doctor was surprised to see the throat congestion still around, and wanted to do some blood work and test her urine and stool samples.

We gave her the samples and headed home. Within the hour, the ped called us back and said she needed to see us urgently. I clung to Z and started to cry - I was already expecting the worst. We took her in and the ped told us that Noo’s blood counts were at 30,800 (the normal range is between 12-15,000) and that for someone so young, that didn’t bode well. That it was probably a bacterial infection that needed to be treated under supervision - there was no guarantee that just oral antibiotics would do the trick. She advised us to rush Noo to ER and have her admitted - she would probably kept 2-3 nights.

We rushed to Al Zahra Hospital where Noo was born and saw the doctor there who said that there weren’t any beds and though bad, Noo wasn’t serious enough and we had to look for a bed elsewhere. So we went to this other hospital, Zulekha and luckily found a bed there. Noo was admitted, given a suppository to bring down the mild fever she’s been sporting for half a day and by then, she was exhausted! She fell asleep in my arms, only to be woken by nurses who came in to put in the canola. My heart bled and bled, while Noo cried and wailed, nahiiiiiiiin, nahiiiiiiin.

Every time a green or white uniform walked into the room, she’d start wailing and going nahiiiiiiiiiin. The biggest challenge for us was to keep Noo from ripping the thing out of her hand, so we told her it was ­a-ha, her terminology for all things shiny, pretty or sparkly. It worked wonders. She showed it to all her visitors, her a-ha and that broke my heart over and over again.

Within 24 hours of being admitted, Noo was starting to get back to normal, eating, drinking and pooping. Both Z and I heaved a sigh of relief. Soon after, the nurses realized that the hand that had the canola in it was swelling and decided that it would be moved into the other hand. She cried, I cried - it was bad. The doctors’ twice-daily evaluation was positive within 2 days and we were finally allowed to come home.

She’s still on antibiotics but in the last two days we’ve seen great improvement - she’s back to normal. Friends and family called and asked why I hadn’t informed anyone, but I couldn’t think beyond Noo. I think it strange that relatives and friends expect to be called and informed about every little thing and feel like they have a right to be offended if you’re too busy worrying about and praying for and taking care of your sick child to call and let them know what’s going on.

While in the drab and dreary hospital environment, I often thought about all those parents with terminally ill children, who have to spend months and years in and out of the hospital and it made me really made me grateful and sad all at once. There’s just nothing more painful or sad than a sick child. It also made me realize how strong you really are when put to the test. That really a child will push every single limit you’ve ever known and make you the best you’ll ever be.

I’ve come to appreciate my baby girl and her crazy energy so much more (though I know a few days from now, I’ll be back to thinking, why can’t she just sit and play quietly for a while?), and I realize that had I never had her, there would have been this whole new dimension to myself that I’d have never got to explore. I find myself saying this more and more and meaning it ever more with every passing day, but I thank God for Noo.